International diplomacy is supposed to be a dignified ballet — polite, precise, and subtle. What we have here is more like a drunken wedding dance: a Senator from a superpower openly scribbling to his President, “Hey boss, let’s break up Somalia — should be fun!” while the Somali ambassador writes back, “Dear Mr. Trump, we love your joint strikes and your friendship, please don’t forget we are a steadfast partner.”
One letter is a sledgehammer to the sovereignty of a so-called ally, the other is a thank-you note for the sledgehammer.
Let’s be clear: Ted Cruz isn’t just “expressing an opinion” — he is lobbying his own President to dismantle another UN-member state, in writing, on official U.S. Senate letterhead, dated and signed like a high school permission slip. This isn’t a side whisper in a diplomatic corridor — it’s a neon sign reading: We hereby invite chaos to the Horn of Africa.
And the Somali Embassy’s reply?
No outrage. No calling it a violation of the UN Charter. No telling Washington that meddling in Somalia’s internal affairs is unacceptable. Instead, they’re busy praising joint drone strikes like a client praising his barber: “Twenty strikes this year, sir, even better than last year!” The elephant in the room — an American Senator calling for Somalia’s dismemberment — is politely ignored like an unpaid bar bill.
This is the problem with modern African diplomacy: When a superpower steps on your neck, you thank them for polishing their boots. Somalia’s so-called “steadfast partnership” reads less like a defense of sovereignty and more like an audition for “Best Loyal Sidekick” in a Hollywood war movie.
If international law were a living person, it would have choked on its coffee reading these two letters. One openly undermines a sovereign state; the other avoids saying anything that might be construed as standing up for itself. The result? The message to Washington is loud and clear: Somalia won’t even raise its voice when you carve it up.
The art of diplomacy used to be about protecting national interests. Now, it’s about making sure your colonial babysitter doesn’t get offended when you cry — so you don’t cry at all.
Warsame Policy & Media Network (WAPMEN) 